Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Oops...Leaving your manuscript on someone else's computer

So because it's me, and humiliation follows me like a piece of toilet paper stuck to the sole of my Chuck Taylors, I had this "situation" arise with my 82-year old stepfather.

I don't want to get into too many details, but suffice it to say, my little MANHOLE book is doing better than I originally expected out in the world. And as you know, I spent one of the day's of last week's "nightmare camp in BFE" entertaining my boys at my mom's house.

And I got many URGENT emails on that day, but I didn't have my computer. I had my stepfather's computer.

Mom: Just make sure when you are opening all those documents, you leave the computer exactly as it was.
Me: Obviously. What do you take me for?

Fast Forward to 3 Days later when we are all having dinner with my mom and stepdad.

Stepdad: Christa, the other day, I went to open my computer, and somehow a novel that you had written was there.
Me (in my head): Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
Stepdad: I wasn't sure how it even got there. So I started reading it...
Me (in my head): Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Why does this always happen to me? 
Stepdad: I read the first four sentences and I must say, I've never read such pornographic crap in my life. I couldn't believe it. What the hell are you doing?
Me: Did you read beyond the first four sentences?
Stepdad: I couldn't. I was thinking of sending it to my kids.
Me: Well, all your girls know I'm writing it because I was with them when I started it. It's a book about rape. It's not for everyone.
Stepdad: Rape? (long silence). Huh. Still. Does your mother know you're writing this?
Mom: Of course I do. I read her blog. Now eat your corn.

I think I've mentioned the first page of MANHOLE is...um, controversial. I have struggled whether to keep it or drop it many, many times. But in the end, I want to put it out there because when it comes to this novel, you're either in or you're out.

The point is: Don't leave home without your computer. EVER.

In other news, a few of you have given me this Liebster Award (thanks LisaAnn and Laura). I follow almost a hundred blogs (some of them for Entangled publicity work) so it's difficult to share this love with other bloggers without having people feel excluded. Instead, I'm giving it back to all of you bloggers. It belongs to you for following and reading and writing and making me laugh at not being the only one who does crazy things.

Feel free to spread the love. Grab it for yourself. Give it to others. You are all Liebsters to me!

13 comments:

AliyaPM said...

That converation cracked me up. Oh wow. Too funny.

Jus Accardo said...

OMG. I would have fallen off my chair!

And I say LEAVE THE FIRST PAGE! It's sharp and it's edgy and that makes it perfect.

:D

Mandie Baxter said...

I'm in! :) I wouldhave died but I love your moms comment to him.

carey farrell said...

"of course i do. i read her blog. now eat your corn."

i'm pretty sure your mom rocks.

Monica B.W. said...

HILARIOUS!! :D

Lucy V Morgan said...

"Now eat your corn."

I totally misread "corn." Rofl.

Your mum does indeed rock.

The East Coaster said...

Dear Christa's Mom,

As you read this, know that you rock. So does your kid.

That is all.

-Me.

Heather said...

Oh no! Yikes! I love your mom's reaction though, that was awesome. Your mom rocks.

charlotte said...

Thanks for the kind words. Mom

erica and christy said...

Yet another good reason why I don't tell my parents that I write. Awkward dinner conversations. ;)
erica

E.R. King said...

LOL! I can imagine that scene just as you wrote it, and I have to say, I'd be dying inside if I were you. But you're doing a good thing, and your book won't be for everyone. That being said, I still want to read it.

moljoe said...

He said, "Pornographic crap?" I just can't stop snickering over that one..because your first page does shock and I think it's perfect. And, no it's not pornographic crap (of course).

As for your mom, I've known for years that she is the best. xoxo

Kelley said...

Hahaha @ that conversation.

I sent my MS to my boss once. At the end of everyday, I had to email her a spreadsheet from the day, but I accidentally attached my book instead. Good times.