Friday, August 12, 2011

Pieces of Me--the "fuzzy" side of myself

My dad called the day I got my agent to tell me he thought I was becoming unbalanced with all the writing and perhaps I should pull back. I had to chuckle because I am in the midst of a BIG, FAT, MAJOR rewrite for GESTAPO and when in that place, there's no pulling back from anything. The story wraps itself around me and there is no shaking it loose until it's on the page.

In that mode, I'm one hot mess. Ask my husband. When I'm writing or doing significant revision, I become no good to anyone. I walk around in a daze, occasionally muttering to myself, incapable of doing basic things like preparing dinner without burning it. Aren't all writers like this?

Unfortunately, not a lot of people understand this fog. Other writers do (I think). And my husband and kids and besties do because they have now seen it enough. But the people who are outside of my inner circle are befuddled (and inevitably annoyed) by the "fuzzy" me. "Fuzzy" me can't get school physicals done, paperwork complete, and groceries put away. "Fuzzy" me takes three weeks to return 'time sensitive' documents to my financial planner. "Fuzzy" me doesn't return phone calls or clean the refrigerator or visit my parents enough. "Fuzzy" me should never have agreed to be the co-head of the PTA or teach 5th grade Sunday School. "Fuzzy" me is slow to read manuscripts.

I do not flake out on all these life obligations on purpose. I just see the giant mountain of them and can't seem to find the energy to climb that mountain. Perhaps because I am putting so much energy into my WIP. I'm not sure. And yes, the simple solution is to "stop" but honestly, it doesn't work that way. Even when I shut the computer off, the thoughts/ideas for my WIP do not shut off.

So if I owe you something (which inevitably I do), please be patient with me. The fog will lift soon. I promise. Please feel free to share "maintaining balance" secrets in the comments--I could use all the help I get.

Love,
Christa

P.S. Also, remember, the fabulous Heather McCorkle will be stopping by tomorrow on her "Tour of Secrets" blog tour to promote her fabulous new book THE SECRET OF SPRUCE KNOLL. Please come by and give her some love.





17 comments:

Angela Felsted said...

I'm just glad I'm not the only one. My husband can get quite frustrated with "Fuzzy" me. Maybe when I die, instead of putting a list of my accomplishments in my obituary, they'll put a list of all the things I couldn't keep up with.

The East Coaster said...

So glad I'm not alone in this. I feel like I need to send flowers to all my friends and family lol

KO: The Insect Collector said...

Ha! "Regular" me doesn't do half that!
It's telling that the people closest to you get it. That's what matters most. :0)

Matt Kuzma said...

Life balance is defined by what you could do but don't.

Talli Roland said...

Thank god I work from home and Mr TR is also a writer/ creative type, so he totally gets it. When I'm revising, I'll wander into the lounge, stare at him for a minute, then wander off. No questions asked! :)

M.J. Fifield said...

I get it. Fuzzy me has, on occasion, forgotten to show up for shifts at the day job. I'm not sure my significant other really gets it when it happens, but he does understand it means he's getting his own dinner.

Stephanie said...

Wow. I love it when people who don't understand give advice. I sent my brother my WIP for feedback and he responded "Do you think maybe you should give this one up and move on to another book?" Yes. That's exactly what I should do. I've been working on this thing for three years and am finally close to done, but you're right, it's time to let it go. The nerve!

Tiffany Garner said...

Haha I totally understand! When I was in school last semester I ended up skipping classes and not doing homework. Wasn't my best idea. I'll be better this semester :)

Heather said...

Aw the fuzziness, the vacant stares, muttering, I know them well. All writers do. Like any great artist, when you're deep into your art it's hard to pull out and balance with the outside world. I set time limits and for the most part it helps. But what helps the most is an understanding other half. :)

Alexis Bass Writes said...

Yup – I am right there with you.  The thoughts/ideas never shut off.  Well said.  
“Fuzzy” me got a grand total of eight hours of sleep this entire week staying up all hours of the night trying to get all the ideas out, so I could pretend to be ‘clear’ this weekend.   

Mark Noce said...

Lol, funny post, and quirky blog:)

L.A Speedwing said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
L.A Speedwing said...

Ah it is nice to see we're not alone in this madness! I like your analogy of "fuzzy you." Totally get that too. God, it has consumed me completely. It is like a monster eating your brain out!

erica and christy said...

OMG. Yep, I have fuzziness also. Thank goodness the 5th grade Sunday School class I agreed to teach is still on vacation.

We'll get there. Breathe.
erica

moljoe said...

I don't even mind if you are fuzzy when you get here to Mn next week..just make sure your fuzzy self remembers to get in the car and drive to see me!

Mandie Baxter said...

I like your description! Fuzzy sounds perfect, and no, not crazy! :0)

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

No advice from this corner. I have my fuzzy moments, too. I like fuzzy better than INSANE. :)

Amy