Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Yes, I heckle librarians....

Storytime librarians love me. Really. I am like a heckler at a comedy club. As if trying to entertain 3 year olds for 30-45 minutes isn't difficult enough? I am truly the most vexing of storytime moms.

And to mix things up, I never go to the same storytime.

I should feel guilty for my behavior. But I don't.

EXAMPLE:

Librarian: Okay, boys and girls, today we are going to read Knuffle Bunny.
Me: It's Kuh-nuffle.
Librarian (to children through hemorrhoid smile): It looks like Kuh-nuffle but the Kn- is pronounced N-.
Me: No, it's not. Haven't you read the second book? It's Kuh-nuffle.
Librarian: Knuffle (pronounced with N) Bunny by Mo Willems.
Me: My sister met Mo Willems. It's Kuh-nuffle.

Bookstore employees also love me. I feel if I must brave carting 3 kids into the bookstore instead of just "buying with one click" on my Amazon iPhone app, bookstore employees to need to work for it. I know, it's not fair because Amazon is making them obsolete so I should give them a break. But I don't.

EXAMPLE:

Bookstore Emp: Can I help you find something?
Me: Yes, I would like to know where THE LIAR SOCIETY by Laura and Lisa Roecker is?
Bookstore Emp: Let me see if we carry that. (clicking on computer, probably tweeting about annoying customers) Sorry, we don't carry that. Would you like me to order it for you?
Me: No, I already got it from Amazon but I think you should carry it.
BE: Oh.
Me: Do you have Jessica Z. by Shawn Klomparens?
BE: Let me check. (more "searching"/tweet updates) Yes, it's on the first floor in the fiction section. Would you like me to show you?
Me: No, I just wanted to make sure you had it. I got it from Amazon too.
BE: Is there anything else I can do for you?
Me: As a matter of fact...
BE (rudely interrupting): Are you going to buy anything?
Me: Of course, I already have what I want to buy. I just wanted to provide you with a list of things you should be carrying.

Whatever. I still dropped $57.


Is this my incredibly high standards or are other writers with me?

 

4 comments:

Lisa and Laura said...

HA! Love it! Now if you'd just take a nationwide tour and tell ALL the bookstores that they should have our book, we'd be in good shape. <333

Jen Daiker said...

Love this! So glad to see LiLa commenting on it as well because this rocks! I think more people should be doing this! I think its important that libraries carry amazing books and this is one of the many!

Great blog! Look forward to more posts here and on twitter!

Carrie said...

You should have kept heckling. Just imagine how many free books you could get if the employees get so annoyed that they leap over the desk and tackle you! Sure, you might get a few bruises, but you could save that 57 bucks to spend on amazon.

Jon said...

TOO FUNNY, the idea of you annoying anyone is so hilarious that at first I thought there is no way this is true! Then I thought, you just can't make that up.... :)