So a few months ago, I was showing Jojo (my 10yo daughter) how GoodReads works. She doesn't have her own account, but I wanted the two of us to start logging the MG books we read together on there. When we opened up my page, my book came up.
Jojo: Mom, how come your book has ratings already even though it hasn't come out?
Me: Well, some of those people are my friends who are my critique partners so they actually have read the book.
Jojo: One of your friends gave you one star? That's sad. She didn't like the book, huh?
Me (laughing): No, that's from someone I don't know who hasn't read the book.
Jojo: Well, then how come they gave it one star?
Me: I don't know. Maybe they don't like me. Maybe they don't like what the book's about. Maybe they're a writer and I decided not to edit their book for my job. I can't really say.
Then there was this REALLY long pause where Jojo opened and closed her mouth half a dozen times.
Finally...
Jojo: That's horrible. I didn't know grown-ups could be that way too. I thought just kids did dumb stuff like that. I don't have any reason for growing up now.
Now, let's fast forward to last night. Jojo was sitting next to me to watch the beginning of the Oscars (neither of us had seen any of the movies, but we like to look at dresses and see the costume design award!). At 7:40, Shatner is reprimanding Seth MacFarlane for something offensive he's "going to do" and I have to put the TV on mute during Seth's "We've seen your boobs" song. I have to put the TV on mute 4 more times before the Oscar for costume design is given out at 8:10 and we can go to bed. During one of the mutes, Jojo turns to me and says, "How come you keep muting? It can't be that bad. There are kids in the audience and that little girl (Quvenzhane) is a year younger than me."
Then, I hear about the Onion tweet. Have you heard about this Tweet? The one that they quickly deleted but not before half a million Onion followers could see them call Quvenzhane a "c*nt". So last night, on likely the biggest night of Q's life, within two hours of the commencement of the award show, she's exposed to "boobs" and "c*nt".
I'm sorry, Jojo. I'm sorry that grown-ups also can suck. Sometimes (and really most times) more than kids. I'm sorry that you can't see pretty costumes without being exposed to sexism. I'm sorry, Quvenzhane. I'm sorry you didn't get your own mute button. I hope that you know that most of the world thinks you're lovely and amazing and incredibly talented. I hope you know that most of the world was horrified by what the Onion did.
Last night wasn't a great night. I hope today is better.
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15 comments:
Ugh, awful. I saw the tweet bc ppl were making a big deal of it so I looked for it. Thought it was actually a different tweet until I scrolled farther back and found a worse one. And I usually love The Onion. That was very off for them, beyond mean with no actual joke. I was also annoyed by the boobs song, not bc boobs is that bad of a word, but what it reduces women to isn't a message I want for girls, or anyone. It's such lazy comedy. Not to mention, that Jodi Foster movie she was raped. Speechless...
I hadn't heard about the Onion thing until now. Although I didn't know of the little girl either. It's so sad that people would do that to a nine year old.
Although it's not an excuse, I understand kids don't have the impulse control or the forethought of adults. But when adults do this kind of thing, it does suck.
We all know McFarlane's pretty douchey, but WTF is wrong with the Onion?
I didn't watch the awards, but I watch twitter through the night. Sad to say even in my own timeline there were not nice things being said. The Onion thing was despicable. That poor GIRL! No woman deserves that, but someone so young?! You've got a smart girl on your hands.
It's true, grown ups can be so cruel! But there are so many lovely, generous and nice people to focus on :)
When I read that tweet, I felt like my heart was ripped out. I already knew that people were going to try to laugh it off, say "it's satire! what do you expect?" and things like that. It's just... how anyone could justify even jokingly calling a 9-year-old girl That Word makes me so sick.
I am happy to see the response was outrage and disgust. From most people. And I think that's at least a little good.
I also didn't watch the awards last night but watched Twitter instead. Grown ups can be mean too, but I feel like there are so many great people in this world for all the little girls to look up to. My generation had Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera which (to be honest) I don't think helped us much either... I feel like society has become more and more sharp tongued when it comes to women they want their girls to look up to and its not always the right people. :(
I was so sad this morning. There is a difference between intelligent and funny. And mean and funny. Last night, it seemed many people didn't know the difference. I hope for more intelligent humor. Sigh.
Good column. Well said.
This post is spot on, Christa. I found myself cringing over and over again during the Seth MacFarlane parts of last night's award ceremony. That boobs skit/song was terrible and you could tell that it made a lot of the actresses uncomfortable. I saw a tweet today that pointed out that four of the roles he mentioned in that song were situations of rape. So, so terrible and SO not something to joke about. The Quvenzhane tweet is just about one of the worst things I've heard. So disgusting.
Yes, I follow The Onion so I saw that tweet. Now I don't follow The Onion.
Ugh... This post hurts my heart. Why are people such jerks? I hope my daughter grows up to be as smart and thoughtful and generous as your Jojo appears to be. Cheers to you for being such an amazing example to your girl, and girls and women everywhere.
adults suck, it's true. we grow older, we're exposed to more jerkery, and we start thinking maybe it's okay if we say a mean thing or two, and so we just perpetuate the jerkery. people are making it increasingly hard to be a good person, and that's kind of sad.
I didn't watch the Oscars. Actually, I've pretty much given up television. :( Sorry for your daughter's experience.
Goodreads. The one-star could actually be somebody who gets his/her kicks from passing out bad reviews on books unread.
I have a one-star from a 60 yr. old male pastor. I spent thirty seconds wondering why he disliked my book so much. Who knows!
Your Jojo is wise and thoughtful! More adults should be like her. I don't understand how one can say something so hurtful to anyone and this little girl shouldn't have to learn how people suck that early on!
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