R is for Resign...and Revise

So my friend Bruce told me that all my writerly stuff on my blog for the A to Z blogfest was sterile. Thank God someone finally said something. I have been feeling this way for the past 14 letters. So glad I am not the only one who has noticed my plunge into the land of Suck. 

Done with A to Z blogfest. Sorry. Blogfest fail.

I am not a joiner sadly. And as per usual, I can't stick with anything that limits my ability to publicly humiliate myself. Also, this blogging is sucking major time out of my WIP revision schedule. Bottom line: I have not been able to procrastinate adequately on my WIP and I blame blogging. 

Let's give it up for me getting past F.

Speaking of humiliation, it is time to get back to that action. I will try to come up with something good for Exercise in Humiliation Friday. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, I will tell you five things about my week so far and you can guess which one of these did not happen:

1. A homeless woman asked me how many blocks were 15 M-I-L-E-S (she spelled it out) and then got mad at me when I gave her my el card and told her it would take her too long to walk to the shelter she was trying to get to (I saw the sheet--truly 15.8 miles away). 

2. I have eaten no white foods with the exception of cauliflower this week because I purchased a book on Amazon that promises a good body and a 15 minute orgasm if I refrain from white food consumption.

3. I got a kettlebell so I could have Michelle Obama arms and threw my back out after the second rep.

4. I wrote one revised chapter of my WIP and then sent it to Carrie because I am the NEEDIEST CP EVER and I am totally waiting for her to send me a letter breaking up with me.

5. I read a manuscript submission this week about a sexy gargoyle and have been looking longingly at tall buildings all week.

So which one of these didn't happen????  

P is for Passive

I live in a passive house. My husband and I alternate ignoring the kids in hopes that the other one will step up and do something about them. Only when it gets really bad ("Mom, Biji set Butter's hair on fire") will one of us finally intervene and take action.

Okay...not really....I am actually a very direct, action-oriented person. Letting something stew is totally not in my nature.

And yet, my first drafts are wrought with the passive voice. My editor friend highlighted every "was" in my book and the finished product looked alarmingly like a cheetah with a million yellow spots.

First let me say that not every "was" is a passive one and although some editors may hate all uses of "was," in my opinion, there are times when it's the easiest way to get the job done. Sometimes spending too much time trying to take out every "was" leads to flow problems.

Example 1:
I was late.

Example 2:
I glanced at my watch. 9:15. The meeting started at 9:00. Crap. I shouldn't have shaved. Why does my flat iron always take so long to heat up? I am going to get one of those coffee makers you can set the night before.

Yes, the second example has more gusto but really, if the sequence you're writing about has more to do with what goes on at the meeting and less to do with lateness, Example 1 can work just fine. And sometimes those shaving/flat iron/coffee maker details can get in the way of things. (I swear I am not trying to avoid descriptive language).

Nevertheless, I still struggle with real passive voice (was + transitive verbs) in everything I write. And I constantly have to go back to undo things. Here is an example of passive voice and how to fix it:  

I was parked behind an ambulance waiting for my two kids to get out of school. I was pretty sure it wasn't a good sign that the lights of the ambulance were on and the back door was open.

Alternative:
I squeezed my car into the spot behind the ambulance with the flashing lights and the wide open back door. Umm...not exactly what a mother wants to see when picking her kids up from school.

Bottom line: Your voice comes through when you take out the passive voice. Write your first draft with some passive voice if you must (I do) but then pull it out of the second draft. That's when things will start getting interesting...

O is for...O....MG

You've probably heard that OMG is now in the Oxford English Dictionary. So is a definition for "muffin top." I am not sure how I feel about this. I have a good deal of interest in feminist linguistics and don't love the idea of muffin top (which is used almost exclusively to describe an affliction of girls and our troubling fashions) being an OED authorized part of our vocabulary.

But that's a debate for a different time. Today's discussion is about the status of my WIP RADIO STATIONS ARE FOR LOSERS.  Here's what I've done in the past six weeks on this:

1. Written one very short chapter. (accomplished in 2 hours)
2. Asked everyone and their sister if they think its really an MG novel and then disregarded them in order to continue stressing about it on my own. (still in progress)

There are a boatload of blog posts dedicated to this YA/MG distinction. I particularly like this one by Ani Louise. Yes, it should be fairly simple. After all, my characters are in high school.  And yet, I still have concerns about this not quite being YA.

First, my MC is 14 and at the beginning of her freshman year.
Second, the stakes aren't high in the way they are for GESTAPO.  (Yes, they don't get much higher than a girl dying and her boyfriend being implicated in it but there is also just a feeling in how my G characters interact that is A LOT older than RSAFL).
Third, it's a "first" love story.

Unfortunately, I have equal concerns over whether this fits in the MG area (not the least of which is my MC gives her love interest a chest hickey).

To be completely honest, I suspect all of this is just a way of procrastinating over revisions. I have lots of revisions to make and I need to just write the thing and figure it out later...at least that's what I keep trying to tell myself.

Until I find someone new to ask if they think I'm writing MG or YA....

What are your favorite things to stress about to avoid writing/revising/getting something done?