What Time It Is...And Other Things YAs Don't Know

My 6 year old has turned on some function on my computer that announces the time every 15 minutes. I have no idea how to undo this function. It is simultaneously annoying and hilarious because it is like a constant reminder of a) my level of SLACK and b) my level of technological ineptitude.

Some days I feel very young. This is sadly not because I am super hot and carded all the time at Famous Liquors. I feel young because I do such stupid stuff that clearly the wisdom of age has not made any sort of chink in my armor.

Some days I feel quite old. Those days are almost always when it becomes evident that my kids have some technological skill that I do not. Butter (3y0) is the only one that I can outpace technologically in my house. And my days are seriously numbered on that front.

I have a 16 year old friend on speed dial (or text dial, as it were) who miraculously answers any and all random YA questions that I have. This is truly THE BEST although with every pinging of returned text messages that I get from her, I feel like I age 20 years.

Some examples of showing my age from 1st draft of GESTAPO:

1. Sixteen year olds do not have a frame of reference for Columbine. They may have heard of it but it apparently means very little to them.

2. YAs don't play Trivial Pursuit. Not even the dorky YAs play Trivial Pursuit.

3. YAs don't know what D&D is.

I know, I am as SHOCKED as you. Columbine? Trivial Pursuit? Dungeons & Dragons? Dungeon & Dragons???? I mean really, D&D was like the beginning of all MMORPG (or whatever that acronym is). Surely, they understand some history. Apparently not.

Julio told me this great story from one of his work colleagues about getting older. It involved an incident he (Mr. X) had with a barista at a Starbucks that he hadn't visited in a few months.

Mr. X: Hi.

Barista: Oh, hi, I haven't seen you in a while. Tall Americano, right?

Mr. X: There you go, that's what time it is.

Barista: It's 8:30.

Mr. X: No, like "what time is it?"

Barista: I'm not following.

At this point in Julio's story, I start laughing about how these young kids don't even know about MC Hammer. I mean surely they've heard the Glee soundtrack???

Julio: Well, actually hon, it's Flav Flav.

Me: Who?

Oh.